Negative

We got the call today, just not the one we wanted. I am not pregnant. Those are words that I have known before, but we haven’t ever been as hopeful as we were this time around. We are sad, disappointed and sort of numb, but we will get through this. My prayer has been throughout this process that if it wasn’t going to happen, I would know sooner rather than later, and earlier in the week I started having symptoms that are contrary to being pregnant. Dr. Slayden explained our options to us and none of them are great. He describes my condition as “greatly diminished ovarian function”. I was most likely born with it, and unfortunately there is not much we can do about it. So for now we are giving things a break. It will be nice to not have to worry about taking hormones or shots. We know that we have so much to be thankful for. I am so thankful to be married to my best friend who is my partner and a great support to me. Many guys would not be as supportive as Nate is; he has never been anything but loving and he is always my shoulder to cry on when I need one. We have such a supportive family and friends who love us. We feel the love and we appreciate it. I feel lucky to know how blessed I am if that makes sense. This is hard and it sucks-sorry Mama-but God is with us and will continue to be. One of my best friends shared this verse with us yesterday:

For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ. Hebrews 3:14

What a comfort to know that God knows our struggles, and it may not always turn out as we want, but He is there with His arms around us. I do not understand why things turn out like they do, but that’s why I am not in control of things and God is. I am off for Fall Break for the next few days and Mom and I are headed to Stone Mountain for the Country Living Fair, Nate and Daddy are so sad they are missing out on this trip. We will also get to spend time with some good friends this weekend, so we have a lot to look forward to. Thanks for your prayers!

Although they are not the words we wanted to hear, I feel like this whole thing has brought Jess and I closer together ( If that is possible). I told Jess today that all I needed was her and although a child is important….if we don’t have one, it’s not the end of the world. I just want to say how proud of Jess I am for all that she has done. The poking and prodding, all the medicines she had to take and all the doctor’s visits she had to be at….she never complained once. She is such a strong Christian woman and I am very proud to call her my wife.